Marthalicia Matarrita bio

My photo
New York, New York, United States
Biography Marthalicia Matarrita Born and raised in Harlem, New York City. Marthalicia has many art disciplines such as drawing, sculpting, painting and creating large murals and is always expanding in new mediums. Current area of art dialogue is based on educating the harmony between animals and humans, in many unique presentations. Marthalicia early stages: Sharng "black books" graffitti art journals as well as comic books were her past time. Encouraged by faith to persue the art form, Marthalicia entered La Guardia High School of Performance and the Arts, and upon graduating high school, she enlisted in the Army National Guard. She enrolled in S.U.N.Y. New Paltz for B.F.A. in Fine Arts. Her art resume further in her new art journey "Live Art Performance" Today, Marthalicia has broaden her art experiences to many difference avenues in art venues, and oppourtunites where she builds with her community and others.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Most moved poetry I have heard, at CAPICU... colaberatied with Ralph (x-man Crew)

After reciting this poem, we then worked togehter in makng hs poem a reality.



( at first it was very hard for me to understand that people are out there, even if as close to a brother form, can harm a presious soul, yet alone a child that was at the wrong place with the wrong peoples. I was able to be strong and create this painting in trying to express out his poem in the most polite way)
~mm
In his very own words, his poem his pain and his healing:
FIRST I JUST WANNA SAY, THIS ISN'T A PLEA FOR SYMPATHY.. IT'S MY WAY OF RELEASING INNER DEMONS AND AT THE SAME TIME HOPEFULLY HELPING OTHERS GET PAST THOSE ISSUE'S, DARK SECRETS AND TRAGEDIES THAT CAN KILL YOU YOU SLOWLY , IF YOU DON'T ADDRESS THEM.. IF YOUR STILL ALIVE TO TALK ABOUT IT THEN DO SO AND RELEASE THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY WHICH HOLDS YOU DOWN, THAT YOU IMPOSE ON OTHERS, THAT ANGER THAT YOU PASS ON TO YOUR LOVED ONES AND CHILDREN. IT'S TIME TO LIVE..FREE OF SOULFUL PAIN , TRANSPARENT POISON THAT FEEDS OFF OF YOUR SPIRIT, INVISIBLE CHAINS THAT HAVE YOU ON LOCK DOWN...YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE... I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHAT YOUR ABOUT TO READ..




A BROTHER TO CALL MY OWN.......



YOUR THE ONLY CHILD! , DAMN YOUR LUCKY..

THOSE WORDS WOULD ALWAYS CONFUSE ME..

IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO FEEL THAT WAY.....

AS I WAS ALWAYS LONELY, PLAYING BY MYSELF LOCKED IN MY ROOM......

WONDERING IF ANOTHER CHILD WOULD ESCAPE FROM THE SAME WOMB..

WHICH SPAT ME OUT TO BE ALL ALONE.....

JUST TO HAVE DEEP CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF......

WHERE MY IMAGINATION WOULD ROAM....

TO A PLACE WHERE I HAD A BROTHER TO CALL MY OWN....

AN OLDER BROTHER!!!!....

OH THE FUN WE WOULD HAVE!.....

I WOULD PICTURE IT, RUNNING AND JUMPING..

THEN I WOULD FALL...

AND HE WOULD LAUGH..

THEN HE WOULD PICK ME UP, DUST ME OFF...

TELL ME NOT TO CRY..

THATS ALL I WANTED...

A BROTHER TO CALL MY OWN....





WE HAD FRIENDS OF THE FAMILY, MARIO AND NURIA!

YOU KNOW, THOSE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS CAME OVER TO THE HOUSE,

ALWAYS WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS..

THEY WERE LIKE MY UNCLE AND AUNT,

THEY ALWAYS GAVE ME LOVE,

NEVER NO FOULS AND NEVER NO HARM.....

THEY HAD 2 KIDS,

A DAUGHTER AND A SON...

BOTH MUCH OLDER THAN ME...

BUT NEVER THE LESS...

WITH THEM I ALWAYS HAD FUN.



LIZZETTE WAS 15, BOBBY 16......

AND I WAS ONLY 6



FOR I LOVED LIZZETTE!!

MY 1ST CRUSH ON AN OLDER CHICK....

BOBBY , WELL HE WAS THE BIGGEST KID ON THE BLOCK...

EVERYONE KNEW HIM,

HE HAD THE PRETTIEST GIRLFRIEND

AND WAS THE BEST JOCK......

SO I PLAYED GOOGLY EYES WITH LIZZETTE...

ALWAYS IN HER FACE...

BUT WITH BOBBY!

I HAD A DIFFERENT PLACE

I HAD FOUND MY BROTHER!



HE WOULD TAKE ME TO THE SCHOOLYARD AND I WOULD WATCH HIM PLAY..

I WOULD HANG ON THE STOOP WITH HIM & HIS BOYS AND HEAR THEM SAY....

THINGS LIKE , 'BOBBY YOU THE MAN"....

AND I SEE YOU TRAINING LIL MAN TO FOLLOW IN YO STEPS..

I WOULD GET MAD DAPS AND RESPECT...

LOVE FROM THE OLDER CATS..

BECAUSE OF BOBBY'S REP....

HE WOULD SAY I WAS HIS LIL CUZZO BUT MORE LIKE A BROTHER....

AND WITH THAT!

I WAS LIKE NO OTHER ...

LIL KID ON THE BLOCK!...

FOR I WAS THE ALLEGED LIL BROTHER OF THE BADDEST MOFO TO SWING A STICKBALL BAT!!

WHILE PRO-KEDS HE WOULD ROCK!

I HAD FINALLY FOUND MY BROTHER...

A BROTHER TO CALL MY OWN,

THAT GUY TO LOOK UP TO,

THAT GUY I COULD RUN TO,

THAT DUDE WHO KNEW EVERYTHING...

AND COULD TEACH ME TO BE GROWN.....

I GOT WHAT I WANTED..

A BROTHER TO CALL MY OWN...





THE ONLY THING I DID'NT LIKE..

WAS GOING TO MARIO AND NURIAS HOUSE...

CAUSE THEY HAD A DOG!

THAT SEEMED TO BE AS BIG AS A HOUSE!!

(THIS FUDDA MUKKA WAS BIG!!)

FOR THIS WAS NOT YOUR AVERAGE PUPPY, THIS WAS A BEAST FROM HELL!

TALLER THAN ME..

LEGS LIKE TREES

AND ENDLESS TEETH!!

AS FAR AS I COULD TELL!!

AND HE WAS EVIL!!!!!.....

AS EVIL AS CAN BE...

DIDNT LIKE ANYONE....

AND 3 TIMES HE TRIED TO EAT ME...

SCARED ME SO MUCH..

HE MADE ME PEE...

BOBBY!!!!!

I SCREAMED..

AND HERE WOULD COME MY BROTHER TO SAVE ME..

DRAGGING THE SNARLING BEAST TO THE BATHROOM , WHERE HE WOULD BEAT HIM DOWN..

FOR I COULD HEAR THE SOUND...

AS I LAY THERE WIPING MY EYES WITH A FRIGHTENED FROWN.....

FOR I JUST HAD HAD A NIGHTMARE WHILE I WAS AWAKE...

SO SCARED I THREW UP MY LUNCH,

AND SHIT MYSELF FOR GOODNESS SAKE......

BUT HAVE NO FEAR..

CAUSE MY BIG BROTHER

WAS NEAR....



WELL THE SUMMER CAME ,

AND THE SUMMER WENT...

SUCH A GLORIOUS TIME

WITH MY BROTHER I HAD SPENT....

IT WAS TIME TO START SCHOOL..

THIS IS WHERE I NEEDED TO BE SENT TO START MY EDUCATION..

AND EXPAND MY BRAIN..

FROM HERE ON LIFE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME...





MY MOM NOW HAD A PROBLEM YOU SEE....

FROM THE HOURS OF 3TO 5..

WHO THE FUCK WAS GONNA BABY SIT ME??

MARIO AND NURIA SHE DID ASK ...

TO SEE IF LIZZETTE AND BOBBY..

WERE UP TO THIS TASK?...



PERO NO JODA, SEGURO QUE SI!

THEY SAID...

MIRA, BOBBY PUEDE RECOJELO Y LO TRAE PARA CASA..

AYI EL PUEDE HACER EL HOMEWORK DEL..

Y DESPUES..PUEDE JOGAR..

Y VELLAR EL "TEE BEE"

THEY SAID..

OH SI! Y TAMBIEN, PAPITO NOT TE APURES

VAMO A TRANCAL EL PERRITO..OK NO TE APURES!

EL WOW WOW , PA EL BANIO SE VA!..OK??

THEY SAID...



ALL WAS GRAND , TILL ONE DAY..

LIZZETE EXCLAIMED, I FOUND A JOB

AND NOW I CAN PAY..

FOR THINGS I WANT

AND THE CLOTHES I NEED

IN ORDER TO BE COOL AND TO SUCCEED ..

SORRY! TIA RAFALITO AFTER SCHOOL I CAN WATCH NO MORE..

I CAN PICK HIM UP,DROP HIM OFF..

AND THEN OFF TO MY JOB AT THE 5 & DIME STORE...

BOBBY CAN WATCH HIM

AND THE HOMEWORK WITH HIM HE'LL DO

RAFALITO WILL BE OK

CAUSE YOU KNOW BOBBY LOVES HIM TOO

MOM'S ASKED ME IF WITH THIS I WAS OK??

I SCREAMED YES! BOBBY'S MY BIG BROTHER

WITH HIM , I WOULD BE GLAD TO STAY....

BOBBY AGREED , ASSURING I WOULD BE ALRIGHT..

I WOULD DO MY HOMEWORK AND THEN TAKE ME TO PLAY..

AND OF COURSE THE FAMILY BEAR, I MEAN DOG..

IN THE BATHROOM IT WOULD STAY OUT OF SIGHT..



THE 1ST WEEK WAS FINE...

THE 2ND WEEK COOL!!

I WAS WITH MY BROTHER AFTER ALL

FOR 2 WHOLE HOURS , EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL.....

BUT THEN LITTLE BY LITTLE THINGS STARTED TO DIFFER..

BOBBY WOULD GO IN HIS ROOM WITH HIS BOYS OR A GIRL...

AND COME OUT MUCH LATER..

I WOULD HEAR LAUGHTER AND HAPPY TONES...

WHEN HIS GIRL WAS THERE

I WOULD HEAR HEAVY BREATHING AND AN OCCASIONAL MOAN...

ACCOMPANIED WITH A FUNNY ODER FOLLOWED BY A COUGH AND A CHOKE.

THE SMELL WAS ALWAYS THERE...

AND SO WAS THE SMOKE...

I WOULD FINISH MY HOMEWORK

AND AT BOBBYS DOOR I WOULD STARE..

WONDERING WHAT WAS GOING..

WITH MY BROTHER IN THERE...



MY BROTHER WAS THE MAN

AS FAR AS I COULD SEE..

FOR WHOEVER ENTERED HIS CHAMBER..

WOULD COME OUT WITH A SMILE ..

AND GIVING HIM

SOME MONEY....

I GOT SOME LOOT TO ..

EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE..

BUT WITH THIS ALWAYS CAME

A WINK AND A SMILE..DONT SAY NUFFIN

LIL MAN..

THIS OUR SECRET..

WE DO THIS HAND IN HAND..

I WOULD THEN GET 50 CENTS OR MAYBE A DOLLAR..

NOT TO HOLLAR ..

A WORD..

AND OKAY I WOULD SAY

FOR BOBBY WAS MY BIG BROTHER..

THE ONE I WOULD NEVER BETRAY..



ONE DAY BOBBY ANSWERED THE DOOR..

STANDING THERE

WAS A GIRL

I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

WOW!!

WAS ALL I COULD THINK..

THE GIRL WAS FINE,

BIG BOOBIES, PRETTY HAIR...

SHE GAVE ME A KISS AND A WINK..

TOUCHED MY CHEEK

AND CALLED ME CUTIE PIE

I STOOD THERE FROZEN...

THEN EXHALED..

AND LET OUT A SIGH..

SHE SAID HER NAME WAS CANDY..

AND TASTY WAS SHE..

I WATCHED AS SHE KISSED MY BROTHER..

WALK THRU HIS ROOM DOOR

FIRST TO LOOK BACK AT ME WITH A WINK...

AS I DID MY HOMEWORK

ALL MY LIL HEAD COULD THINK...

WHAT ARE THEY DOING BEHIND THE DOOR??

I COULD HEAR A FEW THINGS?

BUT I WANTED

TO KNOW MORE...



I APPROACHED BOBBYS ROOM ON TIPPY TOE

AS I GOT CLOSE TO THE DOE

IT WAS AJAR JUST ENOUGH TO SEE

BOBBY WITH NO PANTS

CANDY WITH NO SHIRT

AND

SHE WAS KISSING HIS PEE PEE..

SMOKE FILLED THE AIR..

WHILE HE HELD HER HAIR..

SO I LEANED HARDER

FOR A BETTER VIEW...

AND FELL THRU

THE DOOR

WHICH MADE THE 2

STARE IN SHOCK AND DISBELIEF.

I FELT SCARED AND STARTED TO CRY..

BOBBY HAD

THIS CRAZY LOOK IN HIS EYE..

MY BROTHER WHOM I DID LOVE ..

SCREAMED WHAT THE FUCK,

SLAPPED ME IN THE HEAD

AND GAVE ME A SHOVE...

I CRIED LOUDER..

AS LOUD AS I COULD...

WITH THIS CAME ANOTHER SLAP

ANOTHER SHOVE

AND I FELL TO

THE FLOOR OF WOOD....

BOBBY SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP

AND COME HERE

STILL WITH NO PANTS ON..

CANDY SMILING

STILL WITH NO SHIRT ON.....

HUGGED ME ,

WIPED MY TEARS

AND BURIED MY FACE IN HER BARE CHEST..

WHAT CAME NEXT...

FUCKED UP MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE..

BROKE MY SPIRIT..

BROKE MY MOLD...

AT THE EARLY AGE OF 6 YR'S OLD...



BOBBY SAYS

SO YOU WANNA BE LIKE ME!

TAKE DOWN YOUR PANTS

AND LET ME TOUCH YOUR PEE PEE..

NO I CRIED...

NO! WAS MY PLEA

MOMMY SAID

THATS FOR NO ONE TO TOUCH

OR TO SEE..

ESPECIALLY ANOTHER BOY

WHO HAS THE SAME AS ME..

NO BOBBY PLEASE

I DONT WANT TO....

COME ON CUTEY,

CANDY DID SAY..

DONT YOU LIKE ME..

COME ON PAPI,

LETS PLAY....

DONT YOU WANNA SEE..

WHAT ME

AND BOBBY

CAN DO WITH YOUR,

PEE PEE..

NO!

I WANT GO HOME..

I CRIED MOMMY!!!

PLEASE ....

NO....

AS I WHIMPERED

SCARED AND DISTRAUGHT...

I PLEADED WITH MY BROTHER

THEN ON HIS FACE..

I CAN SEE ,

HE HAD A THOUGHT..

HE GOT UP

AND WENT OUT THE DOOR.

WHILE CRYING

SILENTLY I PRAYED..

PLEASE DONT CAME BACK NO MORE....



THE NEXT SOUND I HEARD

CRUSHED EVERY DREAM I EVER HAD..

I WENT INSANE

I WENT MAD...

PEEKING THRU THE DOOR

AS IF HE WAS SCARED AND INSANE..

WAS BOBBY AND THE BEAST FROM HELL..

AT THE END OF A CHAIN..

IF YOU DONT LISTEN TO ME

AND LET ME KISS

YOUR PEE PEE

I WILL SHOW YOU ,

HOW HUNGRY

MY DOG CAN BE..

SO

DO WHAT I SAY...

AND I PROMISE YOU

IF ONE WORD YOU SAY!!

IT WILL BE YOU AND THE DOG

WHO WILL PLAY!

SO GET UP AND DO WHAT I SAY

AND YOU CAN TOUCH MINE TOO..

REMEMBER

I'M YOUR BROTHER

I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU...



THIS WENT ON

I BELIEVE FOR A YEAR

ME SILENTLY CRYING

TEARLESS

TEARS

IN FEAR....

OF THE BEAST INSANE..

TUGGING AND PULLING

TRYING TO BE FREE OF HIS CHAIN..

FROM A DISTANCE

EATING MY SOUL, MY EXISTANCE

MAKING SPIRITUALLY CRIPPLE..

AND LAME

BUT THEN

THE DAY CAME..

I THOUGHT I WAS FREE

FROM CANDY

BOBBY

AND THE BEAST...

MARIO AND NURIA

CAME A KNOCKING TO SAY...

WE BOUGHT A HOUSE IN LONG ISLAND..

WERE MOVING AWAY...

EVERYONE WAS SAD...

SO I PLAYED THE GAME..

BUT MY LIFE ..

WAS FUCKED..

NEVER TO BE THE SAME..

NIGHTMARES

WITH MY EYES OPEN...

SCARED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT..

FOREVER RELIVING THE HORROR

AND THE FRIGHT...

TRUSTING NO ONE,

AS FAR AS I COULD SEE..

MOM TO BUSY WORKING 3 JOBS

TO SEE

THE CHANGE IN ME...

ANGER WAS MY YOUTH..

PAIN WAS MY LIFE..

WHEREVER I WENT

I LIVED SILENTLY

IN MISERY AND STRIFE....

BUT WITH A VOW TO PROTECT

ALL THAT IS INNOCENT AND TRUE..



CHECK IT...



IT YOU HURT SOMEONE SMALL...

I'M GONNA FUCKING HURT YOU...



IT TOOK ME MOST OF MY YEARS

TO COME TO GRIPS..

THAT WHAT WAS DONE TO ME..

WASN'T MY FAULT

IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S SHIT...



I WAS JUST A BABY...

6 YRS OLD..

I'M FINALLY OVER IT AND

DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YA THINK,

SO LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD...

WHAT JUST ESCAPED MY LIPS..

IS MY FREEDOM...

MY CLEANSING...

A

LAXATIVE FOR MY SOUL...

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